K is for Kinder

Oops.  I swear I know my alphabet.  I learned it back in the day.  I alphabetize things daily.  (Confession:  I occasionally have to recite the end of the alphabet to myself to remember exactly where W goes.)

But I guess I was so psyched to write about my laptop baby that I completely forgot about the letter K.  So, I apologize to the letter K and all of those people who proclaim K as their favorite letter of the alphabet.

I love you, K!  I promise not to forget you again.

So to celebrate the letter K, I have chose to write about Kinder–a noun.  Many of you may have thought this short blog posting was about generosity and being more compassionate to your fellow man.  WRONG!

Kinder (pronounced ‘kin’ as in your family and ‘der’ as in DUH with an accent) is a German word meaning children.  Thus the word, Kindergarten…..where I should have learned that the letter K is snuggled neatly between the letters J and L.

Kinder = Children (and apparently also a brand of chocolate) in Germany

Anyway, this time of year, much of the activities of adults revolve around children.  Ok…parents may debate that this occurs all year.  But even they would have to agree that the holiday season places special emphasis on children….with gift giving, school parities, greeting card photos, and visits to Santa.

Santa….aka….Kris Kringle (a celebrity name that would cause the dinner table name game to reverse direction).

I think we all have seen the funny pictures of children screaming on the laps of some mall Santa.  These pictures are all over the internet these days.

Also, it seems my Facebook feed has been inundated with pictures of “Baby’s First Visit to Santa” as many of my acquaintances became parents this past year.

These pictures remind me of my family’s trips to the Augusta Mall to see Santa.  I remember mom making me go back and tell Santa that my parents wanted a VCR.  I remember my brother crying.  I remember standing in line.  I remember the little packet of gummy bears (Haribo, of course) that we received after the visit was over.  And then I remember becoming confused…..who was this Santa guy really???

An old-school VCR

I was a naive girl who believed in Santa for far too long in today’s terms.  Either I ignored the talk of the other school children or I was so convinced that they were wrong that their doubts meant nothing to me.

But still to this day, I remember my mother telling me the Truth—in the most confusing way you could ever tell a child that Santa was not a tangible person.  (Note: as a child, the term tangible was not in my vocabulary but would have helped me understand my mother’s cryptic explanation).

My mother chose to impart the Truth upon me by first reading the famous letter to a young Virginia.

A lovely story, but confusing to a young girl.  So, basically, in response to my query, “Is Santa real?” I was told, “Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa,” but, Christi, Santa does not exist.

What?!?!  I’m confused!  Is there or isn’t there?!?!?

Tangible….that was the key word.  There may not be a tangible person named Kris Kringle who visits all the “kleine Kinder” across the world, but there is a spirit of giving and kinds that becomes real during this season.  I see it around me day after day, year after year.  My mother is one of the best at it.  I hope to one day be as good at her at personifying this Santa spirit.  Years later, I finally got it.  Yes,Virgina, there is a Santa.

But note to all parents out there:  Choose a more direct, and age-appropriate, way to share the Truth.  Spare your kids some confusion.  Save the lesson about generosity for a later date. (Addition:  I must say my mother meant no harm in reading this letter to me.   In fact, the sharing of this historical and poetic letter epitomizes her desire to impart in her children the idea that kindness and goodness are all around us.  Faith!  That’s what this letter spoke of and what each action my mother takes each day speaks of.  As the letter so eloquently says, “He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy.”  For sharing this, I will forever be thankful to my mother. <3)

Grateful for teachers, the alphabet song, and the ability to laugh at myself.

L is for Laptop

In April, when my laptop died moments after saving a final draft of a paper for my Social Equity in Health class, I could only dream of my next computer.  I had always said that my next computer would be a Mac; I had just not anticipated the need for a new computer would pop-up so unexpectedly.

 

For the remainder of the semester, my last semester of course-work to complete my graduate school requirements, I borrowed my mother’s laptop.  It (and she) were a life saver.  Never could I have completed my capstone research project without her gracious donation.

In fact, on that one very devastating evening when I realized I had somehow deleted (or never processed) the data for half of my study sample, this laptop was the one thing that kept me sane.  Yep, that laptop and I (and SPSS) were tight friends for the next day and a half.  No need for me to spend sleepless nights and days in the school library, I had a laptop to save me.

SPSS = My life for 3 days straight

 

This August, when I decided it was time to purchase my own computer, I recalled my earlier promise to myself.  Would I buy a Mac or would I settle for a PC?  I remember debating whether I should purchase a cheaper PC to get me through my internship and then purchase a more reliable (and costly) laptop after securing a full-time position OR should I just bite the bullet and get the Mac now?

If any of you know me well, you know that decisions involving large sums of money are almost too difficult for me to make.  My childhood need to save the family money always arises and I tend to bemoan the strain I would be putting on family or personal finances.  I just don’t think I’m worth it or that I need it.

This time, I went ahead and did it–thanks to a credit card and my parents.  I will be paying them back for the computer for awhile, but I am now the proud owner of a MacBook Pro.  It’s my little baby and I treat it as such.

 

In fact, if this apartment were to catch on fire, this laptop (and maybe some clothes) would be the first thing I would grab.  Now, keep in mind, I’m not that materialistic, but I do not have family or pets or any other living thing to rescue so why not go for “my baby.”

Thinking of this, I was reminded of a website that asks subscribers what they would take with them in case of a fire.  It’s kind of morbid to think about but can be kind of interesting to look at.

What’s more interesting than the actual items the subscribers choose is the visual representation of said items and the (short) stories behind their value.  Many are sentimental, nostalgic pieces passed down from relatives, others have ties to the persons career…. Regardless, the website is an interesting way to squander a couple of minutes…..as if you didn’t already have tons of other stuff to use as a procrastination tool.

Here are a few from the site:

Click http://theburninghouse.com/post/13551371516/andrew-raymond for explanation

Click http://theburninghouse.com/post/12929552520/alana-cooper for explanation.

 

Click http://theburninghouse.com/post/12032472274/carly-cedermark for explanation.

 

Grateful for my parents, my laptop, and blogging.

 

J is for Jordan

Jordan, Michael

A proper noun, for sure.  But today, he is on my mind.

The reason for my Jordanian thoughts revolve around my chapped lips.  If you think hard about it, you can probably make the connection before I reveal it.

I’ll give you a moment.

Take your time.

Imagine me humming the Jeopardy theme.

Ok, are you ready?

My chapped lips are caused by my sticking out my tongue and biting my lips during times of great concentration–just like Jordan.

For him its awesome slam dunks. For me, its the perfect red and green bow.

Some may think the tongue habit is an indication of stupidity. But I tend to think its a sign of genius. Yep, Jordan and I ….a pair of geniuses (just in our own completely different fields).

Grateful for nights off, central heating, and contact solution.

I is for Infamy

Somehow it seems very fitting that today I land upon the letter “I.”  Today, the day that will live in infamy, is the 70th anniversary of the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor.

It does seem like every American school child has been (or should have been) exposed to a school-house lecture regarding Pearl Harbor, the devastation the attack caused, and the subsequent American decision to enter the war.  All I really now about the attack, I learned in BK’s classroom—whether that is good or bad is for you to decide.

Later, my view of the attack would be tainted by a Hollywood film staring Josh Hartnett and Kate Beckinsdale.  While I am sure they were diligent in researching the historical details of the film, the movie is fiction and should be taken as such.

So, sadly, I don’t feel especially knowledgable about the attacks 70 years ago.  Nor do I have any idea of the torment and trepidation Americans felt after having been attacked on home soil.  (Or maybe I do….does 9-11 count).  Anyway, I think it is valuable, while the survivors are still alive, to get their story.  Only this way can we truly remember and honor those lost in the battle.

And if you are interested in reading and/or listening to more about this day of infamy…I suggest you check out a clip from NPR’s Talk of the Nation.  Here is the link. Rather than talking to a front-line fighter, NPR helps us learn about a codebreaker used with great frequency during the years before Pearl Harbor.

 

While trying to find the link to this show, I stumbled upon another interesting article.  This one was about Roosevelt’s speech—you know, the “infamy” one–and how this was not the first word he had chosen to use.  It was geekily neat to see his scratched out first draft as I have been known to write papers in such a manner too.  However, what struck me the most about the speech is the fact that Roosevelt wrote it himself.  No hoards of speech writers to help him along.  This was his own.  How truly novel.

 

Grateful for air vents in the kitchen, warm cups of Earl Grey tea, and UAB basketball.

H is for Heaven

Using the purely non-religious definition, H is for a heaven that is the “place or condition of utmost happiness.”

On this rainy day, here is my heaven on Earth.

Breezy Porch on the Outer Banks in the Summer

Some Random Greek Island

Reading next to a Fireplace

Cabin in the Great Smokey Mountains

 

Costa Rica

You get the point.

Grateful for a little bit of headway, motivation, and dishwashers.

G is for Germs

Germs…..they are icky, dangerous, and compellingly awesome.

Yep, in graduate school, one of my favorite course was Epidemiology of Infectious Diseases.  We covered everything from diseases caused by worms, protozoa, bacteria, viruses, and prions.  Some of the factoids may have been a little too much information and the pictures could sometimes be a little “whoa,” but for that hour and thirty minutes each Thursday night, I was rapt.

Take for example: Dracunculiasis (also known as Guinea Worm Disease).  This is an infectious disease that was once prevalent throughout certain regions of Africa but know is only seen in 4 African countries.  (Note: For that, you can largely thank Jimmy Carter and his Carter Center.)

So obviously, Guinea Worm Disease is caused by the guinea worm. People ingest the worm by drinking infected water, and once inside the body, the worm migrates to the intestines where it grows in length and size becoming that really icky worm you are totally imagining right now.

What’s amazingly odd about the guinea worm occurs when the worm is ready to leave the body.  Instead of being excreted from the body like many intestinal worm species, the guinea worm migrates to the lower extremities creates a blister and then lies in wait for  people to then soak their wounded and painful foot in the local water to help the pain.  Then…the guinea worm becomes ingenious.  Sensing a decrease in temperature caused by the soaking in water, the guinea worm begins its exit from the body on cue thus infecting more water that will later be consumed by local people.   Ta-da.  The guinea worm, and its crazy ability to sense temperature changes in its host, has created a self-sustaining infection cycle.

Creepy, huh?

And a good side-note: the extreme decrease in the number of Guinea Worm Disease cases is largely due to the introduction and use of filtered straws for drinking water and filtered sheets used in the collection of water for home use.

 

 

Another one of my favorites was cholera.  “Why?,” you may ask.  Because it introduced a new phrase into my vocabulary, and that phrase was “rice water stools.”  Oh, yeah.  It’s just what it sounds like.

So, here, the bacterium is ingested by the human host when the human drinks infected water.  (Note: the water is infected with fecal matter.  Yep, it’s dirty water.)  Anyway, the bacteria causes extreme dehydration through almost constant diarrhea.  But unlike other diarrheal diseases that pull water from food consumed by the individual, cholera results when the bacteria releases a toxin draining  the cells of the body of water.  Thus, the rice watery stools.  (Follow the link to see a visual).

So, how do we prevent cholera?!?!  Don’t poop in the water we drink and wash our hands.  Seems kinda simple, doesn’t it.

 

Germs, they can be frightening, they can be gross, and they can be deadly.  But from far away and in a classroom, they can be intriguing.  I mean, how awesomely complicated and intricate is our universe?!?!

 

 

Grateful for microwaves, sneakers, and trashcans by the mailbox.

F is for Festive

Ooooh….get excited.  So far its all been nouns (plus that one pesky non-word).  Today, a day late but better than never, I’m introducing an adjective.

Festive can be defined as (1) of, relating to, or suitable for a feast or festival or (2) joyful, gay.  But, really, how festive are we supposed to be?  And when should our festive natures be released upon the world?

 

Obviously, holidays are a wonderful time to share some of your festive spirit.  But just be careful with how much sugar you put in the icing.  It is possible to get a little too carried away.  Take note of the picture below (now an infamous internet meme).

The house on the left is a little too festively decorated.  The house on the right may be sharing in some of the joy of the season, but its sarcasm wins the battle.  Still, it brought a smile to my face, and the faces of many others, so….mission accomplished.  Continue with the festivities.

Yes, it does seem like the Christmas (or, the more politically correct,  holiday) season are the perfect time to show your festive side.  People humming and even singing along to Christmas ditties….especially while wrapping gifts in red and green Swooze ribbon.  🙂  Decorating of houses, yards, trees, and street lamps.  Family pictures and cards to relatives.  It’s all to get us into the spirit of celebration and joy.

This brings to mind the loveliness of Christmas films…several of which put me in a festive spirit.  One of my favorites, which I watched just a bit of on Thanksgiving, is the original version of Miracle on 34th Street.

In it, the ever insightful Kris Kringle states,

“Oh, Christmas isn’t just a day, it’s a frame of mind… and that’s what’s been changing.

That’s why I’m glad I’m here, maybe I can do something about it.”

Hmm….so if one is to believe that Christmas and its feelings of joy and gaiety are just a frame of mind and can be celebrated at any time, then the shirt I wore to work the other day is spot on.

“Always carry a bag of confetti with you….just in case.”

And along with that, I would say “smile!”  Because there is never something so large that cannot be celebrated and shared with a warm, loving smile.  No matter where you are, no matter how much money your wallet currently holds, a smile can be all you need to display a wonderfully festive side all year round.

And on that note, a final nod to the Christmas season….here are some funny clips from the movie “Elf.”  If anyone needs to see what real “festive” looks like, it’s Buddy the Elf.

Bet you’re smiling now!!! 😉

Grateful for good advice, job interviews, and lazy noon-time hours.

E is for Errors

Yesterday was an interesting work day.  You know those days when you just can’t seem to do anything correctly.  Well, it was one of those days.

 

I won’t go through my list of errors during the day–the least of which were tying floppy or womp-sided bows onto gift wrapped packages.  I did not break anything, but it seemed the day was determined to break me.

At least none of mine were this bad.

 

Usually, these kind of errors would drive me crazy.  Honestly, I guess they still are a bit if I am blogging about them.  But, I think I did relatively okay dealing with the feeling of ineptitude during the actual work day.  This is a step up for me.  I’m sure I will still be referencing these mistakes in a self-depecrating, laughing-at-myself kind of way.  I just hope that today turns out to be a better day—getting myself back on track, reestablishing my retail self-esteem, and allowing for the production of wonderfully vibrant bows.

My goal for today.

 

I wasn’t going to write about errors as my gratitude topic for the letter “e,” but while cruising The Daily What (my go-to site for all things internet funny), I saw a picture with an error that caused a choked snort and wide-eyed expression.  I saw this picture first posted on a friends Twitter feed, but I was convinced it was a gag.  Now, seeing it repeated on another site, I feel more confident in the truthfulness of the error.  And since it just seemed to fit so well into one of my previous blog series, Football Friday, I decided to share it here.  Misery loves company, and I would imagine that I’m not the only one wondering how I should have done things differently this weekend.

 

So, I don’t know how Paul is feeling today, but he should not feel alone.  Just recently, another sports journalist (or commentator) spoke a little too frankly.

His apology, while perfectly delivered in correct and proper grammar, lacked sincerity.  Where was the real, exuberant, and a little salty Corso?  No where to be found, now.  His on-screen error had taken away some of his pep.

So, trying to put the whole of yesterday and its many mistakes into perspective, I take a lesson from Mr. Corso.  To err is human.  In being myself, following my best instincts, trying to help others in the best way I can, I am sure to make errors.  But an error-less, humorless, flat toned robotic me is scary.  I’d rather be me—errors and all.

Grateful for time for reflection, being able to laugh, and new days.

D is for Dirt Roads

It’s weird for me to think that some people may have never experienced driving along a dirt road.  Growing up, half of.the people I knew lived on dirt roads.  While our homestead was nestled in the corner of two paved routes, across the intersection was a bumpy Georgia red clay road. 

Riding bikes down this road was not preferable but was the safest option. Besides the big rigs and traffic along the highway, there was Spud.  Spud, some sort of chow-chow mix, would chase us way beyond the confines of his yard.  And Spud was fast.  Later, though, I found it in my heart to forgive Spud as he fathered my favorite childhood pet, fluffy old Beethoven. 

Anyway, the dirt roads of south Georgia have three main characteristics.

1. They are only wide enough for one vehicle. Lord forbid you should ever meet a piece of farm equipment along the road. Hope you weren’t in a hurry.

2. If they have not been scraped by the county road crews in a while, the roadways resembled rippled potato chips with all of the ridges and valleys.  Depending on which parent’s vehicle you were riding in, this ripple effect could result in violent shaking and a 10 mph driving speed.  Hope you weren’t in a hurry.

3. All dirt roads seemed to connect across the county in some sort of maze-like way.  I swear, you could make it from point A to point B, no matter how far apart they were, by using only dirt roads. This method, however, often involved wrong turns and back-tracking. At some point, cotton fields along dirt roads all look the same.  Hope you weren’t in a hurry.

So, why dirt roads? Took a little bumpy slow ride along one tonight.  It reminded me of home, ignited a warm nostalgic feeling inside, and it started with “D”. Done.

Grateful for observant auto mechanics, kitchen vents, and file folders.

C is for Comedy

I’ve recently re-discovered a favorite cell phone app….I Heart Radio.  Now, I’m not into the streaming stations or the create your own station capabilities.  Rather, I’m becoming quickly enamored with the 24/7 Comedy station.  Therefore, on this Thursday, my day off and the third full day of the countdown, I will reflect upon a love of mine…..

In particular, I am a fan of two types of comedy.  (1) Comedy of the stand-up variety and (2) Comedy of the cheesy one-line variety.

(1) My favorite stand-up comedians

Jim Gaffigan: I ove his bacon. hot pocket ketchup jokes.  Don’t worry; these are separate joke arcs.  His asides (where he mimics a more austere audience member in the crowd) are incredible and could so be coming straight from my mother’s mouth.

 Katt Williams:  I was recently told that Katt’s dog attacked a friend’s dog once upon a time.  This very well may be true, but it can’t change funny.  Take a gander at “poor little tank-tank” and “everyday I’m hustling”.  The latter is brought to my mind whenever that LMAFO song come on.

Mitch Hedberg:  I remember when my brother saw him live in Clemson.  This was shortly before he died.  His delivery is the best.  And since I love sarcasm and dry wit, Hedberg really appeals to me.  Listen once, laugh your butt off, and become hooked.

Bonus:  Bill Cosby’s Coin Toss sketch:  A true killer that stands the test of time.  I may not have heard much of his stuff, but this sketch is a favorite of mine

(2) One-liners

The cornier the one liner, the better.  I especially like them if they are science and/or math related.  This ups the geeky factor of the joke, and as such, increases its worth in my mind.

eg.  What do you get when you divide the circumference of the jack’o’latern by it’s radios?     Pumpkin Pi

 or

eg. Do you want to hear a joke about sodium?  Na

Nowdays, these jokes are readily available after a quick google search.  But I suggest children with a love of chewy sweet candy check out the back of their piece of taffy taffy.  The jokes on here are sure to bring a smile to your face faster than any crunchy fortune cookie.

Grateful for upcoming naptime, warm mitten-gloves, and laughter—truly the best medicine.